Janet Amaral

After 100 years you'd think Disney might come up something new and refreshing. Sadly, Wish isn't even terribly entertaining. Typical story elements including: Plucky teen girl who's brainy but mouthy? Check. An assortment of goofy/snarky pals? Check. A few cute animal sidekicks (plushie merch)? Check. Neon green swathed villian? Check! Dead parents? Check! Why does Disney claim family friendly when they kill so many parents? Not even terribly catchy songs. The animation style was attractive, reminiscent of old school handpainted cells. Endless nods to previous films, to the point it got old. I wouldn't even take a small child to this one, it gets pretty intense at the end and is rather scary. Save your money and pass on this one.

Who greenlit this movie and who convinced a lot of decent actors to appear in it? What a steaming pile of excrement! The promos and title made me think something silly would happen, mad hijinks between neighbors with too much time on their hands and far too much money. Boy, was I wrong! It was more like a bad local theater improv group trying to outdo each other with over the top dreadful impressions. Hey, I'm the realtor who's an exhibitionist. I'm the grumpy old writer! I'm the ex-wife who remarried well after leaving the grumpy guy! Hey we're all the townspeople and none of us can act! Was this someone's film school project? I hope they got an F!

Pick an action movie cliche. It's all here in this tragic attempt by the governator to reclaim his relevance. Grizzly facial hair, but sleek brown locks with nary a grey hair? The characters were absolute caricatures: soda guzzling computer nerd with a stupid obsession over cake fillings, wimpy kindergarten teacher son-in-law, smoking hot ex-wife, and rebellious daughter who (omg) is ALSO in the CIA. I couldn't even sit thru the first episode. It's not even bad enough to become a cult classic. Sorry Arnold, you're 65 now. Try something new.

*Mild spoilers* Disappointing and uneven movie that reduces most of the compelling characters from The Black Panther to weak caricatures. The exception is the masterful performance by Angela Basset who shows dignity, strength, profound grief and towering anger in every scene. Naturally this means she's going to die. Because Disney sure does love to kill off mothers in their films, have ya noticed? The beginning exposition and tribute to Chadwick Boseman was beautiful and left me hoping the rest of the film would be as well played. Sadly, no. The MCU has lost its appeal.

Don't bother with this one. Spoiler alert! In true Disney form, every strong female character will be killed or maimed in this film. The villain is Lord Voldemort in his summer outfit. The opening scenes are not Thor having wild nightmares, although you really wish they were because the stilted dialogue and gratuitous cameos are really grating. Plot points are either vague, easily guessed, or just nonsense. Why is Aasgard a cruise ship destination? The jokes are thin. Save your money.