Steven P

Dude.....wtf is this? Like, what was the process of making this? Legitimately some of the worst acting/writing/directing I've ever seen. Not just in Marvel. Disney also has this reeeaally unsubtle way of making the most racist stuff while saying they're fighting racism. There's so much wrong here I'm not even gonna explain. It's not worth it. Also, funny how all the 5 stars are either copy and pasted, or just saying everyone who didn't like it "just don't like brown people". Sad af.

This is legitimately one of the worst possible things to have put on screen.

Genius. This whole movie was exclusively to sell us on cleavage and booba. Put me into full on simp overdrive. If you love a sweaty, dirty tube top barely containing an angelic set of swangin teets in the desert, this is your flick. It's got adrenaline, climbing, vultures, towers, boyfriends who are harshly reminded what gravity is, and two pairs of the sweetest American made chesticles in the whole sport of fake climbing. Honestly better than any new Marvel/Star Wars.

The movie is 30% landscape shots, the Android wife looked really cool at the beginning but the budget couldn't handle it so later they just painted the actress white and put some black lines on her face and went "yep....that's an android lady....totally", and they didnt even bother changing her eyes. She has the memories of his wife so I can understand her not "acting" artificial, but her movements and everything are far too human to convince me otherwise. The story slogs on til the end and I found myself checking to see how much was left (that's a sign I reeeeaaally don't like something). Theo James was okay I guess but the guy was never known for good acting, just acting. The wife was about as stereotypical of a romance movie wife as it gets. Like, she is a copy and paste of every woman in a similar role. Then that ending, oh boy, I know they thought it was extremely clever, but there was something about that twist I saw coming. Idk man, the overall plot and execution of this movie was hella generic. I'd consider it a waste of time for anyone who likes good sci-fi. Good try deleting my review for profanity Google, literally wasn't a single profane word anywhere in it, so I'm gonna keep posting this.

I dont have the time or patience to hit every problem so here are the mains: "Master" Indara getting faded by a rookie with throwing knives in first 5 minutes. Maybe using that Saber would've helped a bit? Just an idea. The campfire in space. No surveillance footage at all just one witness description of a hooded mixed girl with braids and the jedi immediately have the specific location of a very specific person...k. Twins that somehow look identical in every single way after 16 years apart with no discernable difference other than Mae has 2 extensions. No scars, blemishes, stress marks after living over a decade of completely different lives. Smylo Ren (thanks Mauler) fan service igniting their saber to make the seals clap after making the dumbest speech they could've written. An acolyte kills without a weapon...BTW I think the sith is either the Green lady, or Aisra Miller. Jedi can't be killed with blade or steel.... Well that's just plain wrong seeming we just saw both of those happen. Master Sol seems to forget he has the ability to read minds and extract truth in from anyone weaker with the force than him. Mae escaping that embarrassing trap with the good Ole pocket sand trick then somehow completely disappearing from like 5 Jedi's sights/senses. I have about 3 paragraphs left in my thumbs but this is way too much bad for the first 2 eps of a $180 million show. Remember people, the creator Leslye was Harvey W's personal assistant and magically got gifted one of the most expensive on screen projects ever made, using the most famous sci-fi IP ever, and keeping that mouth VERY quiet about her involvement/awareness level with big Harvey. Totally not extremely suspicious....

It's a masterpiece on all 3 platforms. Legitimately borders the line of perfection. Exploration, Combat, Ranged atks, Stealth, Story, Environment, Platform Optimization, Replayability, all incredible. I'm on my 7th playthrough since it's OG release. Sucker Punch studios outdid themselves.

People need to stop pretending Sandler is some “low key” really good actor. He’s been the exact same depressed character in 4 movies. Everyone knows Jack and Jill was Oscar worthy but these serious movies all blow. Also, the spider in this was of the homosexual variety and I don’t know about you, but I for one won’t fall victim to this homo-arachnid agenda like the Clintons want. Come and take my guns, I dare you. Only way you’ll ever catch me closing the truck door with my hip is when I got one hand on a Colorado mountain brewed cold Coors light and the other on my Nextel. Ligma

Whatever the message was, Jonah code switching throughout the movie was pure cringe.

Oscar worthy performances from beginning to end

5 stars for Ashley Greene automatically. Yeah she kinda looks like a Raptor from Jurassic Park but she got dem titaaays