Andey Skanes

This was a great black mirror episode and a horrible movie. Other than the worst asmr/ FOOD HORROR I’ve ever heard/seen (especially while Dennis Quaid eats shrimp in the nastiest way possible), my biggest issue is its straight up boring. Its 2 hours of repetitive scenes, one dimensional characters, and a predictable storyline until the last 30 mins. It’s not really doing anything new with this story concept. A drug that changes you, but has a hidden cost? Shocking. The idea of agism in Hollywood? Crazy. Other than a surface level stance about beauty standards that everyone already agrees with, it’s got no bite to it. Some of the best influences taken from the likes of The Fly, Carrie, Dorian Grey and dare I say a Lynchian Eraserhead direction by the end couldn’t save this film for me. I don’t think the mysterious drug dealer has yelled “You are one” or zoomed in on the substance instructions enough for a big dumb dumb like me to infer where the film was going. As soon as I understood the concept of the movie I was bored. I also love that the 2 main characters had zero questions/ interest in each other or the extremely complicated drug that sustains them. But thank god we got the same ass shot for the 50th time. I understand the hyper sexuality given the misogynistic and patriarchal themes (I loved the shower scenes and vulnerable nude mirror scenes comparing Demi’s body to Margaret), but at some points it stopped adding to the story and became repetitive. Also, something rubs me the wrong way about Hollywoods self congratulatory nature for being self aware, while doing the bare minimum. This is a movie about how misogynistic and unrealistic the beauty standards are for women in Hollywood. A standard THEY helped create and push to this day. This feels like another empty pat on the back where the industry awards themselves for calling themselves out??? In the words of Peter Griffin “It insists upon itself.” To its credit, I think the last 30 minutes were so incredibly metal and outrageous in the best way. I also think the acting was excellent, given the parts, and I loved seeing Demi Moore transform. However, there’s little character development or depth, only physical developments of characters. The characters are as one note as the themes themselves, barely having lines or dialogue at all. That’s not necessarily a problem, but the characters felt cartoonishly exaggerated and annoying, as though written by a teen for a comic book. I get its satirical, but it’s not an excuse to be one dimensional. Anyways… if you’re looking for a visually stunning body horror…Perhaps a long, dreadful movie with a spectacular fireworks display at the end, this might be for you! Fr though there were pieces of this movie I really liked, if only it went a little deeper into the characters to explore these themes. If Demi Moore wins an Oscar, I won’t be mad bc she was fantastic in spite of the film. For me, this film edged on topics and insecurities that are deeply personal and affect everyone. Yet films rarely get this nuanced angle (from an older woman’s perspective on beauty and aging in a society that punishes women for both) they had the opportunity to explore and didn’t. Unfortunately, “The Substance” lacked substance and only went skin deep…in every sense of the phrase.