nathan touma

Superman: Legacy — A Flaming Wreck of Celluloid Shame Rating: -∞/10 — This movie didn’t just disappoint. It personally offended me. 🧠 Plot A chaotic fever dream stitched together with duct tape and delusion. Superman intervenes in a global conflict, but instead of moral complexity, we get geopolitical cosplay written by someone who thinks nuance is a type of pasta. The pacing? Like watching a toddler sprint through a museum of broken ideas. 🧑‍🦲 Lex Luthor’s Head That scalp was so aggressively polished it could blind satellites. Nicholas Hoult’s Lex looked like a villain designed by a skincare brand. Every time he appeared, I wasn’t scared—I was reaching for sunglasses. He didn’t radiate menace; he radiated SPF 100. 💬 Dialogue If cringe were a superpower, this script would be unstoppable. Lines like “Hope is a muscle” made me want to pull a muscle escaping the theater. Lois Lane’s sass was written by someone who thinks sarcasm is a substitute for character development. Superman’s stoicism? Less “noble alien” and more “emotionally constipated gym bro.” 🎭 Acting David Corenswet’s Superman had the charisma of a damp sock. Rachel Brosnahan tried her best, but even she couldn’t salvage this trainwreck. Nicholas Hoult’s Lex felt like he was auditioning for a TED Talk on villainy while battling a migraine. 🐶 Krypto the Superdog The final betrayal. Krypto was supposed to be the heart of the film, but instead he was a glorified chew toy with the emotional depth of a screensaver. His bond with Superman was about as touching as two mannequins nodding at each other. Every bark felt like a cry for help from inside the animation software. Even the kids in the audience looked bored—and they usually clap for anything with paws. 🎨 Visuals CGI so overdone it felt like watching a blender full of neon vomit. Fight scenes were pixelated chaos, and the color grading looked like someone spilled glow stick juice on a Zack Snyder film. Final Verdict: This wasn’t a movie. It was a cinematic hostage situation. If you love Superman, this film will make you question your life choices. If you hate Superman, congratulations—this is your Joker origin story. And if you came for Krypto? He’s not man’s best friend. He’s the emotional equivalent of a wet fart in a cape.