Rusty Shackleford

This screenplay is the greatest single human achievement of all time. Every line of perfect dialogue is dripping with the purest ingenuity, and is delivered by a living god, every cast member a perfect talent. I am willing to call Shakespeare the dumbest person in the world based on the electric delivery of every sublime phrase. For all that, Nic Cage has easily the best dialogue in what will surely be rembered as the film that cured cancer and brought everyone who died in the holocaust back to life, and gave each and every one of them a delicious samdwich. I have never experienced as much gender fluid as this, nor have I ever learned as much about critical racism in a single sitting. Paradise has reached the terrestrial world, life is now everlasting, and everyone is getting a puppy. I came. One thousand stars.