Chris Payne

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The cat relieved herself in the driver’s seat of my car before vomiting on the floor and casually wandering off to some neighbourhood party. The mess went undiscovered for three days in temperatures over 35degrees c. When we finally went into the car, the acrid stench of concentrated cat deposits was so instantly overwhelming that tears instantly exploded from our eyes and it took thirty seconds of dry heaving before we could once more breathe in shallow gasps. I can still taste the aroma and are now exploring insurance clauses to see if it’s possible to write the car off rather than once more enter into the wheeled dumpster. Yet the pungent face-slapping ammonia-like gas attack we experienced was still more palatable than the stench of this Atlas (2024) movie. The taste though, the taste still haunts us. Why is that when studios cancel films for tax relief that they often choose the wrong films to write off? This should have been one of them. Terrible filmography, plot, casting, and acting made this even less bearable than a Fox News documentary on cupcake economics. It was a real missed opportunity for Netflix - think of the tax it could have saved if had written this one off. The only redeeming part of it was J-Lo, who was so immersed in the role you really really believed that she believed this could be watchable. Belief is a wonderful thing. Our belief in Netflix is shaken though and I look forward to watching the true crime documentary later this year about the Director who murdered this movie.

Atlas

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Writing a book is a huge endeavour and I would never want to discredit any author for their dedication to producing a piece of literature. Well done for this Tony. This book wasn’t for me though - which was a shame as I have enjoyed his previous works. Plot was overly complex yet predictable, characters insincere and failed to resonate emotionally with the reader, and pace frustratingly slow. It was neither nail-biting or suspenseful. This instead felt like a cathartic dump for the writer as opposed to a well-considered piece of fiction with engaging narrative. I did persevere to the end though in the hope of some upturn and surprising revelations that would make it all worthwhile - sadly though, I just didn’t care about the characters or the plot so wasn’t at all invested in the outcome. Perhaps you will enjoy this more than I, and I urge you to give it a go in case you find some redeeming elements that I could not.

Your Neighbour’s Wife: Nail-biting Suspense from the #1 Bestselling Author

FORGET EVERYTHING YOU LOVED ABOUT COD - THIS IS A DEVASTATINGLY BAD EXPERIENCE CLEARLY CREATED FOR THE FORTNITE GENERATION Skipped a couple of releases and thought I’d give it a go again. So so disappointed. The format is ruined. With a campaign completed in an evening through to a ridiculous battle royale format that takes forever to join and needs a huge investment in time, cash or both to compete, this has just become a hot seething mess of steaming brown stuff. Clunky transitions, confusing home screens and constant upselling, this is just a vast commercial engine now that seeks to pillage every penny from you. You’d be better sticking to free versions for the multiplayer experience and looking at other titles for the campaign. Keep well clear from this if you’re looking for a romantic to return to the heady days of COD.

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