Daniel Uhlenberg

One of the worst horror movies I have ever seen — and I have seen many. The reviews on here come in two flavors: • "It drew parallels to my own experiences with ____(some thematic element)____ so I loved it, 5 stars” • “Dear god that movie was terrible, 0 stars” I have loved many movies that weren’t good. I have sobbed and sobbed for movies that didn’t have much redeeming value because they tickled my traumas. I get it. Resonance roulette aside, this movie was terrible — you ever watch a movie and wonder who the writer had to blackmail to get its script greenlit? Or whose nepo baby the writer was? This is that. The movie has drained me. I’m surprised I found the energy to write this much. As far as the particulars go, every one and two star review hits the nail on the head. Nails. Many nails. Inconsistencies, plot holes, melodrama, unrealistic dialogue — if somebody is blackmailing YOU and forcing you to watch this movie, do so while incredibly faded so you’re not capable of thinking about it with any depth Reader: if you happen to be the writer of this movie, uh… no offense sorry ily