I don’t know where to start. This film has me floored… it all started a week ago.
My dear, pure, virgin tween daughter Becky Rose Marie asked me if she could watch this satanic film. I reluctantly agreed after seeing that she sent 5 young boys to conversion (you go girl!). Then, on this fateful day, I walk into her room. And what do I see? Her licking her computer screen and barking like a dog, mimicking this nasty feral wolf (Jacob). I immediately pull out a spray bottle and repetitively spray her right between the crevice of her elbow (she’s oddly sensitive there). She then flew off of the bed; repelling backwards and smashing right through her church youth group poster. I finally decided I had to call the pastor… he tried all that he could, but no luck. My Becca Rose Marie is gone forever (quite literally, might I add, I took her to the pound).