Chris Hrubant

Im gonna be honest this has to be one of the dumbest movies ive watched in recent time. I LOVED kingsman and MARV movies in general, but what the hell was this movie!!! A sleeper double double agent who wrote 5 books based on her own spy life without knowing ends up being dragged into what ends up being the 6th book where SHE is argyle the spy and then she find Samuel Jackson who is like “surprise you’re a spy! Go do this thing to get the thing!” But when she gets the thing she finds out UHOH SHES THE BAD GUY TOO!!! And then Walter white is her dad but like brainwashed dad is like “ur also my spy” and then she shoots her apparently love interest to “prove?” She is not a mindless sleeper agent book writer but she shoots her love interest in a way that a fan mentioned as a cool plot twist for a future book and SURPRISE the “fan” was another spy who killed at the start of the movie but SURPRISE SHE ISNT DEAD right when argyle is about to kill her love interest for a second time because her fake mom who made her into a russian sleeper agent used a lullaby figure skating doll to hypnotize her into trying to kill her love interest. But then it all ends happily ever after and you find out she writes the 6th book based on the events of this movie and does another book q&a/reading party and then Henry cavil stands up and is like “i aint got questions for you but maybe you have some for me” and then the movie ends. Im not even going to mention more about the stupid colored smoke dance shooting scene or the super stupid oil spill ice skating thing scene. The post credits scene for the movie was even more stupid because it shows a PUB named “the kings man” where a young henry cavil “argyle” orders some complicated drink and then is handed a gun in a box instead. WHY IS IT A PUB????? The kingsman are TAILORS LMAO name the damn pub the “statesman” or even better yet WHY DID THIS SCENE EXIST????????? Oh yeah BTW more argyle movies coming! This movie was arguably the worst movie ive seen in ages and i have no idea what they are doing or what the hell that movie was.