Tayla Plett

I liked the practical parts where it advises on how to become aware of your patterns and how to address them and how to practice showing up in a more secure way. They did a great job at spelling out the feelings, thoughts and actions that each type displays which was super useful. I would have liked to see way more about disorganized attachment , it was not really discussed much. I would have liked to see more about how to heal the root causes of insecure attachment. I didn’t like that it doesn’t provide any guidance on the early stages of getting to know someone when you are not yet in an official relationship/when it’s not really socially appropriate to make certain demands yet. One concern I have about this book was an example of a hetero couple where the man is described as avoidant (which he is) but the book doesn’t call him out for being abusive even though he is very clearly emotionally abusive toward his partner. I think that was a missed opportunity to signal something important especially to women who may have encountered a similar character in their own lives. I was shocked the book was not more critical about this example and didn’t caution people against that sort of toxic personality. The woman wastes years with this miserable man and pushes marriage on him and eventually begs for a divorce multiple times though she struggles to actually leave and follow through with leaving.