Shoaib Syed

The Duden has offered me enlightenment beyond my years. I don't know German but the man Konrad he's got cool glasses. Getting the same pair of glasses made me a chad of a man. I used to be a nerd toting a pocket protector, but one day a visage of Konrad Duden himself fell upon my lap. That day I realized what had been missing in my life all along, a pair of spectacles no one could compete with. I immediately saw results, one of which being that my cockius grew to a startling 6.5 inches of solid steel. I also noticed some plumpage in my rear and my hair slowly went blonde and I cultivated a body that could rival Adonis himself. My claves overflowing with stamina and speed my middle school had never seen. I became a romantic interest in many womens (and mens) lives, they had never witnessed such godliness in their midwestern suburban lives. I became my own romantic interest for a very very steamy 6 months. I have now been graced with a wife and 4 children, my tuchus so ripe it could bounce to the moon and back. Prior to this epiphanic moment I was just a beta roaming the halls. Now I am an alpha, a chadius to match da Duden if you will. This will change your life, have no fear.