Walter Buchko

So far not terrible, but the acting is. "Actor 1 says line. (pause). Actor 2 says line. (pause). Actor 3... (pause). And so forth. I've seen more "spontaneous" dialogue using teleprompters. Nobody converses like that. I do like the actors, but so far it feels very fake. Like an SNL skit, but without the humour. I hope the rest of the movie is better.

Some of my favorite movies are Nicolas Cage movies. This isn't one of them. It felt like a humorless , one joke SNL skit excruciatingly dragged out to movie length. Two "5 star reviews", written a month apart by 2 different people apparently, were literally "copy/pasted" VERBATIM. It seemed that not even those paid to pad the ratings cared enough to hide the fact their "reviews" were BS. The type of movie one would welcome an interruption from a telemarketer.

Overall I pretty much enjoyed the movie, but the ending sucked. It's almost as if the writer's strike started right near the last few minutes of the movie and the studio was at a loss and desperate to finish the movie. So they hired some guy named "Bill" who was sleeping at a subway and offered him a sandwich to finish the movie. Definitely a "wth" moment.

I gave it 2 stars because I might have enjoyed a couple minutes of the movie. I just can't remember what. I found it insanely ridiculous. At least in "Last Action Hero" they used a magic ticket to cross between the real & fantasy worlds. To get to Barbie Land apparently all you need are roller blades. (Do you think the reason we don't see as many people using roller blades now is because too many accidentally ended up in Barbie Land?) I did learn something from watching it though. I learned that I DEFINITELY do NOT want them to come up with a sequel.

I'm only a little ways into the movie so far. The critics' reviews are exceptionally high for this movie while audience reviews not so much. So far, besides that she was raised by a polar bear that probably wouldn't have no problem eating other baby animals, she somehow is fully clothed. And in clothes that would require actual sowing to make: not draped furs or skins. Ok. Maybe I can try and look past that, but to pluck out an eye from another woman and stick it in her own empty eye socket, where it actually worked, is a bit much. Besides that, the movie is bizarre & seriously ridiculous. Not sure how much weed one needs to smoke in order to write a positive review for this. Too much, in my opinion.

"The Legend of the Red Reaper is an absolute cinematic marvel"...??? Are you KIDDING me?!?? Calling a t*rd a rose does not make it so. The only part of this movie worth one's attention are the bad reviews.

It never got further than: "This kinda looks interesting. I hope it gets good." Less satisfying than click bait.

If you're going to make a movie about a Bible event, at least be respectful enough to TRY and stay true to the story. Just to name a few inaccuracies: The Bible says David took SMOOTH stones out of the water. NOT rough stones near the water. (Smooth stones fly straighter. Anyone skilled with a sling knows this.) David also did NOT fight Goliath's assistant before fighting Goliath neither did he spar with Goliath before using his sling. He ran towards him and nailed him with one shot from his sling. No sword fight. Period! If you read the Bible account and compare it to the movie, you'll see the movie is not giving a simple difference in interpretation, but an inaccurate account of the story riddled with unnecessary embellishments.

Zero stars. Anti God propaganda poorly disguised as a failing attempt at comedy. Funny that Buscemi and Radcliffe would sign on to a show that not only is the epitome of disrespect towards God, but does not even attain to the level of "pull my finger". And just like the show, not "funny: ha ha".

Unless you're on a steady diet of quaaludes & lithium, the overall plot and characters are unrealistic. Besides that, each scene painfully drags. The conversations define bland. The filming drags as though the camera was left on by mistake during some scenes and the editor must've been away. The overall tone was monotonous. It seemed it was an attempt to pass off uncomfortable boredom as "creative genius". It left me with the feeling one gets after entering a condemned, sewer damaged, bug & feces infested house. Besides that, on a more positive note,... the movie was bad.