Austin Wells

Do you like getting beaten with a rake? Do you prefer to burn your mouth with scolding coffee? Do you enjoy being verbally castrated by your untalented nepo-baby middle manager boss with intense body odor who won’t brush her teeth and just leaves the day old crème cheese on her lips so she blows it on you every time she demands you write her presentation for her and then takes all the credit? Well then YOU are just the kind of masochist who may enjoy torturing yourself with the most insultingly vapid, worthless, unfunny, anti-creative desecrations of a once great franchise! There are many of those these days (ask Stitch) but this one hurts more. It’s not edgy, it barely has a plot. It’s JUST. REFERENCES!! This is late stage Family Guy or Ted 2 or Ghostbusters 2016 all over again. Seth McFarlane and Akiva Shaffer are hacks. They can’t stuff my beaver! (Which appears in this film — under glass, panned on without a word. No joke, no new relevant spin on the classic pun. A too-long camera pan. God, I hate these guys!)