Fred Gibson-Field

Disappointing. I came in my underwear. I came to see a thrilling action horror and all I saw was sadness and despair. At no point did the killer sofa, which in all honesty is in fact a reclining chair - nice work dickheads, perform an exorcism, which is much different to the likes of the critically acclaimed "Velocipastor," in which Pastor Jones performed an excorcism, which is fairly impressive considering he had died in Vietnam 15 years prior, shot by a vietcong sniper. Shame. Frankly, i'm not sure why i'm on this earth. And another thing, the villains name of "Frederico" is borderline offensive, although i'm not biased in this matter. I will now kill myself. - Jeremy Corbyn, Leader of Jezbollah, 2019

Words cannot describe the masterpiece that has befallen myself. I was completely blown away by the sheer scale of the main characters ass. It was a beast to behold. And indeed, the rest of the film was worthy of watching, perhaps even once. Perchance. Now I may be stupid. This film is worthy of being considered for an award of sorts. This was indeed a film and I did indeed have the experience of sitting down, playing with my testicles and watching it. - God, 2018