sandeep krishnan

I finally read If He Had Been with Me after letting it sit on my shelf for nearly four years. I first heard about it during the Covid era, when Bookstagram and BookTok were flooded with mixed reviews. Some readers said it was heartbreakingly sad and made them cry for days— which I took as a positive sign. Others criticized the writing as childish and poorly executed, which might be why I kept postponing it, waiting for the "right time". I knew it had a devastating ending, but I don’t believe in "bad writing"—stories are like flowers, different yet beautiful in their own way. When the sequel came out last year, I bought it immediately, intending to read both books together, but my book club commitments delayed me. Finally, I picked it up and finished it in two days. The first 100 pages were rough—I understood why people called the writing childish. But after that, the book felt like a Taylor Swift album, especially Folklore, my all-time favourite. Every page, every situation, felt like a song, and I was fully immersed, bracing for the heartbreak I knew was coming. And then…the last 25 pages— I felt completely disconnected. Throughout the book, I believed in Finn and Autumn’s love. Autumn had been waiting for Finn, and I assumed he was waiting too. But finding out he had been sleeping with Sylvie the whole time shattered that belief. The way he warned Autumn not to have drunk sex, yet did exactly that with Sylvie, was unsettling. It changed how I saw him. Was he really the good guy he was made out to be? He loved Autumn, but clearly not in the same way she loved him. The book would have been more meaningful if Finn had been waiting too. His reaction to Autumn saying she hadn’t slept with Jamie made it seem like he was on the same page, but he wasn’t. And his explanation—that Sylvie had to be drunk for sex—felt like an excuse. Just because someone has a troubled past doesn’t justify a relationship dynamic like that. The ending also made me question Finn’s love. Autumn was so devastated by his death that she tried to take her own life. Would Finn have done the same if the roles were reversed? I don’t think so. He would have gone back to Sylvie. He would have cried on her shoulder for a few days, then gotten back together with her. The book, like many others in the romance genre, portrays a double standard—where male characters get away with things that female characters never would. By the final pages, I wasn’t mourning Finn’s death the way I expected to. Instead, I felt relieved for Autumn. She loved one person her entire life, waited for him, and now he was gone—along with all the confusion he carried between her and Sylvie.

I’m struggling to find the right words to describe how I feel about this novel. Even knowing from the title what would happen at the end, I still hoped for a miracle. With Adam working on a sequel, I thought there might be some open-ended resolution—something to hold on to. But as the title says, "They Both Die at the End". I don’t think I’ve ever cried this hard over a book. I usually avoid stories with sad endings, but this novel changed that. Life isn’t always fair, and this story captured that reality beautifully. I put off reading it for so long after hearing how heartbreaking it was, but once I started, I couldn’t stop. This is my second Adam Silvera novel, the first being "History Is All You Left Me", which I also loved. But "They Both Die at the End" broke me in a way no other book has. I cried for hours after finishing, then immediately reread it because I wasn’t ready to leave Mateo and Rufus behind. Their brief time together was profound, and imagining a world without them feels unbearable. I’m curious (and anxious) about the sequel Adam is working on. How can the story continue without Mateo and Rufus? Still, I trust it will be another emotional masterpiece. I was hesitant to start the prequel, but my bookstagram friends insisted I dive in immediately because Mateo and Rufus are mentioned. I can’t wait to revisit a world where they’re still alive, even if just for a little while. Their love story, though short, is one of the most beautiful I’ve ever read—something I’ll cherish forever. Thank you, Adam Silvera, for this unforgettable book. Even with the heartbreak, I loved every part of it and look forward to whatever comes next. Now, off to "The First to Die at the End".

Iwan knew that Clementine, the girl who loved him more than anything, was waiting for him seven years apart. Yet, instead of waiting for her, he chose to date, kiss, and sleep with as many women as possible until their destined meeting. How is that love? If he had said, "I’ve been waiting for you all these years—to see you, to kiss you, and to be with you forever", this could have been one of the most romantic books I’ve read. But no—he admitted to trying to fall in love with others and "experiencing life". Meanwhile, Clementine unknowingly lived her life without him, while Iwan, fully aware of her existence, used the time for his own pursuits. That doesn’t feel romantic—it feels selfish. If their roles were reversed, Clementine would have likely waited, staying loyal and focused, while Iwan went off to "become the man he wanted to be". The worst part? His behavior was openly known. The sous chef yelling at him to stop flirting proves that he wasn’t just charming—he was likely repeating patterns with other women. Why is it that in books and movies, men are allowed to live freely, date multiple women, and still be painted as romantic, while women are expected to remain pure, innocent, and loyal to the male lead? The author’s writing was excellent, but I wish Iwan had been portrayed as his best self. If he truly loved Clementine, he could have waited for her—loved her from afar, stayed loyal, and used those years to grow for her. Instead, it felt like he was searching for someone "better", only to settle for Clementine when no one else came along. This revelation in the final pages ruined the story for me. Iwan’s choices don’t make this a love story—they make it a disappointing one.

I’m really confused about the author’s point of view toward Wes in this book and the previous one. Let me explain. ** spoiler alert ** In the first book, it was clearly explained that nothing happened between Liz and Michael. However, there wasn’t much written about Wes and Alex, which made me doubt Wes’s intentions. For example, Wes brought Alex to his secret place at midnight after prom—not something you’d typically do “just as friends.” When he saw Liz there, he quickly claimed Alex and he were “just friends,” but there was no evidence to support this. Later, the online bonus chapters clarified that Wes was actually helping Alex with her crush on one of his friends, but since this wasn’t in the original book, it’s hard to believe nothing happened between them. Now, coming to this book… The story made it clear there was nothing romantic between Liz and Clark; their fake dating was purely for show and meant to deflect attention from Wes. Everyone in the book vouched for Liz’s character, describing her as loyal, honest, and “one of the boys.” But when it comes to Wes, the author leaves everything open to interpretation. Wes insists he never cheated on Liz, but those are just his words—there’s no backstory or character testimony to support him. What really happened between Wes and Ashley? Wes started spending time with Ashley months before breaking up with Liz, and people in the town were already gossiping about them. At the New Year’s Eve party, everyone saw Ashley kissing Wes. Meanwhile, Liz’s fake dating with Clark was widely understood to be just that—fake. There’s a clear imbalance in how the author handles Liz’s and Wes’s actions: Liz’s innocence is explicitly proven, but Wes’s loyalty is never backed up by evidence. Ashley’s character remains a mystery. Her name comes up often, but we never meet her or learn her side of the story. For all we know, Wes might have been drinking with Ashley during those months and even sleeping with her, which might explain why Ashley kissed him at the New Year’s Eve party. It’s possible he later ended things with Ashley, lied to Liz about it, and claimed he never cheated. Without proper details, it’s hard to trust Wes’s words. This lack of clarity frustrates me. Why does the author feel the need to thoroughly establish Liz’s innocence but not Wes’s? Is it because Liz is a female character and held to a different standard? The imbalance is glaring—Wes’s words alone are considered enough, but Liz’s actions are overexplained to prove her worthiness. I suspect the author will eventually release bonus chapters online to clarify Wes and Ashley’s relationship, just as she did with Wes and Alex. But unless this information is part of the main books, it won’t change how I feel about Wes. He still won’t seem like a green flag. If there’s a third book, I expect the same pattern: Wes screwing things up with yet another unknown girl, coming back to Liz with cheesy, movie-like explanations, and using his usual excuse of “we’re just friends.” And once again, there will be no real evidence from the author to back this up. By the end of the book, Liz will forgive him and take him back. And in the third book, I think there will be multiple girls—now that Wes is the team’s star player with lots of fans, especially girls. So yeah...

I'm sorry, but I really can't say that I loved this novel as much as I wanted to. I mean, I was really enjoying and loving this novel until the prom, and then suddenly, it felt like I was building this beautiful garden in my head, only to realize that it’s never going to bloom! The whole point of this novel was for Liz to have a great time at prom. And it didn’t happen. She didn’t go to the prom with the person she was in love with, she didn’t go with her best friend as she had promised earlier, and she ended up going with someone who was actually in love with another girl. It felt sad. Honestly, it could have been better if, after Liz helped her prom date connect with his crush and reconnected with her best friend, someone had told Wes what was actually going on with Liz, and they both ended up together at prom. Wasn’t that the whole point of this novel? But no. Liz went home, and later at midnight, she found out that Wes brought his prom date to his place at midnight! That was a total turn off for me. He later confessed that he and Alex were just friends, but who brings their friends to their home at midnight after prom?! That was just suspicious. We all know there was nothing between Liz and Michael, but there’s no proof that there was nothing between Wes and Alex. Maybe they kissed at the prom, and wanted to take things further, which could explain why he brought her to his place. But when he saw Liz there, he changed the story and said they were just friends. I mean, there’s nothing to back up this "Wes and Alex are just friends" story. And boom, Wes and Liz are together now! The ending was not satisfactory at all. I wish there were more to it with Wes and Liz. The story just ended there. I wish there was more to it, like maybe Alex confessing to Liz that she and Wes really were just friends and had gone to prom as friends, with no kisses or romantic tension. Also, Michael talking to Wes about how he felt that Liz was so madly and deeply in love with Wes. Something more was needed, but it felt like the author was too tired of writing this novel and just wanted to end it ASAP. I read this book as part of my book club. I know, we’re a little late to join the party. Anyhow, we’re a small group of 40+ aged people, and we all loved the plot—except for the ending drama. All of it. The sad prom, Wes and Alex’s drama—everything. We really wanted to see Liz and Wes having a prom dance in front of everyone, but the author was too cruel to deliver it. We now know there’s a second part to this book, but we decided not to include it in the book club because maybe we’re too afraid to find out that that the sequel might introduce yet another unnecessary twist, making us dislike Wes even more. Wes taking his prom date to his secret place at midnight after prom was painful enough to read, and Liz witnessing it just broke our hearts. To make matters worse, there wasn’t a clear explanation for why he did that. I mean, haven’t we seen enough romcom movies to know what “just friends” really means? Anyhow, we decided to read the second part individually and not as part of the book club. I’m worried now because I’ve decided to read it, and it might break my heart again with Wes doing something stupid and unexplained, with Liz taking him back when his excuse is nothing more than, “We were just friends.”!

I'm really puzzled! So what's going on here? They have to split up for a year, hook up with other people, and somehow rediscover their love for each other? That's just messed up! Honestly, that whole idea is terrible. They didn't even consider other options! There were so many possibilities. How about family therapy to start? Or just talking things out with friends or family? Nope, they just decided to take a year off from their marriage and sleep around. It felt like Ryan was pulling the strings the whole time. He wanted to be with other women, so he came up with this plan that Lauren would never question. I really felt for Lauren; she was caught in Ryan's game. They both claimed to still love each other but needed to dig deep to find it again. But that doesn’t justify sleeping with other people! Lauren never even thought about it until Ryan started seeing three different women after their break. What a terrible guy Ryan is! I honestly don’t think he ever intended to get back with Lauren after the year was up. He only returned when he found out she was with David, probably out of jealousy or something. And he made that special pasta for Emily on her birthday, something he only did for Lauren in the past. If he really loved and missed Lauren, he wouldn’t have cooked that dish for anyone else. That was the telltale sign that Ryan's feelings for Lauren had faded. It’s sad that Lauren only ended up dating David because Ryan was with Emily. Ultimately, Ryan returned to Lauren only when he sensed she might be moving on. I can totally see him cheating on her in the future whenever he feels neglected, upset or bored. He’ll probably hook up with other women and keeping it a secret because he fears that might push Lauren away or make her seek affection elsewhere. He needs Lauren in his life, not out of love, but out of jealousy over the possibility of her falling for someone else. He never thought about this before; otherwise, he wouldn’t have taken that year-long break. Perhaps he was just planning to enjoy himself with other women and eventually leave Lauren, thinking she would be left alone and miserable. But as soon as he realized she was moving on, he rushed back. That’s not love. Honestly, this book felt like a comedy show. It was an enjoyable read, don’t get me wrong. The writing was fantastic, and the female characters were great. But the men? Not so much. Lauren's brother Charlie was also a pretty unlikable character. It’s no surprise that Ryan and Charlie were best buds. I felt like this book highlights how men continue to manipulate women in today’s world for their own selfish gains.

I know I'm a bit late to the party, but wow! I devoured this novel in just one day, and from the very first few pages, I realized it was going to shatter my heart into a million pieces—and it absolutely did. I had this nagging feeling that I would end up disliking the character Theo, and I was really hoping that wouldn’t be the case, but unfortunately, it turned out to be true. I can't stand Theo! I despise him for all the pain he caused Griff. Poor Griff was so deeply in love with Theo that everyone around them could see it, including Theo himself. Yet, as soon as he left town, he jumped into a new relationship. It feels to me like Theo never truly loved Griff at all. He just wanted to have fun and chose Griff, fully aware of how much Griff cared for him. The breakup was no excuse; if you listen to what Griff said at the post office—“I’m counting on us getting back together when our lives fit better. You are endgame for me.”—that’s not something you say when you’re breaking up. It seemed like Theo just brushed it off and accepted the breakup in an instant, eager to move on. Then, he had the audacity to talk about his new boyfriend Jackson to Griff, fully knowing it would hurt him. It’s just heartbreaking. I found myself crying on every single page of this book. By the end, I genuinely don’t believe Theo loved anyone—neither Griff nor Jackson. He just craved the idea of love and wanted someone around for fun and intimacy. I’ve never hated a character this much before. Seriously, who does that? I firmly believe that even when Griff mentioned breaking up due to the long-distance situation, he didn’t genuinely mean it. He was hoping Theo would insist that they wouldn’t break up and would work through it together. Instead, even after Griff expressed that he saw Theo as his endgame, Theo accepted the breakup and, within months, started dating someone new. He even had the audacity to share details about his new relationship with Griff, fully aware that Griff was still hung up on him and counting the days until they could be together again. Alright, I think I’ve said enough.. To be clear, I loved the book—the writing, the story, everything—except for Theo. There’s no way to justify how he brought Griff down so low. He had known Griff for nearly his entire life, was aware of his mental health struggles, and understood how deeply Griff loved him. Honestly, I’m not sorry to say that I’m glad he’s gone..

I just have to say how thrilled I am that I picked up this book! Seriously, wow.. This is actually my third read from Colleen Hoover. The first two were “November 9” and “Ugly Love”. To be honest, I wasn’t really a fan of either. “Ugly Love” was alright, but “November 9” was just a mess. The main guy having an affair with his sister-in-law just because his brother passed away? That was just disappointing. And the way the author made it seem acceptable! Not cool! What about the main girl in that story? She didn’t deserve any of that.. But I’m so relieved that the author didn’t make the same mistake in “Regretting You”. I’m really glad the affair between Jenny and Chris was portrayed as wrong. I was worried that by the end, the author would try to convince Morgan and Jonah that it was fine, but thankfully that didn’t happen. Honestly, I almost gave up on Colleen Hoover after “November 9” and “Ugly Love”, but my bookstagram friends recommended “Regretting You”, and I can’t express how happy I am now that I listened to them. The final chapter—it was just stunning. Miller is one of the most romantic characters I’ve ever come across. His last video about Clara had me in tears, and I didn’t even realize it until a friend asked why I was crying. This is exactly how a novel should make you feel. Huge thanks to all my friends who suggested this book, and I’m definitely going to grab all of Colleen Hoover’s novels from now on.

I just finished reading this novel after "November 9", and I have to say, I liked it more than "November 9". I would have given it five stars, or at least four, but after the chapter called "Rachel", I felt a deep emptiness. Let me explain. The story was going really well, almost perfectly. As a romantic fiction, I was mostly happy with how things were unfolding. I found the plot engaging; it’s a strong story. However, after the "Rachel" chapter, I felt lost. There didn’t seem to be any big revelations. Rachel simply told Miles she loved another man, had a child, and was happy now. Then, Miles quickly decided to do the same, rushing to Tate, marrying her, and starting a family, as if everything was neatly wrapped up. While this ending is fine, I think the "Rachel" chapter could have been deeper and more beautifully written. Even though Rachel shared her feelings with Miles, her confession didn’t connect with me as a reader. Also, after that chapter, when Miles goes to Tate's apartment, I found it strange that he didn’t talk about Rachel with her. He should have cleared up his past with Tate in one conversation, giving her the understanding she needed. Instead, he put off this talk, as if his life was like a book that would unfold in later chapters.

This is one of the most amazing novels I've ever read. It's truly beautiful. Each character is crafted so well. Reading this novel is like experiencing a stunning movie filled with incredible soundtracks. I can't wait to explore more works by this author!